Thanksgiving Day '08

Thanksgiving was awesome! Not to mention we got some really great photos!

From Scared to Joyful in 2 minutes Flat!

Well, as some of you know we had a bit of a scare this month.  I had recently found a suspicious lump on my breast and with my Mom having had breast cancer 15 years ago, we were concerned.  I went to our family doctor to get a consultation and see what to do next.  She in fact found the lump and recommended that I go and have a mammogram and ultrasound.  I had 5 days of wondering and imagining what would happen if this were in fact cancer before my appointment arrived.  For most of those 5 days I just kept busy and didn't try to think or talk too much about it.  But, in my heart and my own mind, I was scared.  It wasn't until the night before my appointment that I allowed myself to outwardly deal with the possibilities.  I wept that night in the shower as I thought of what it would mean for me to leave behind small children and a husband.  I know this was a very fatalistic view, but it was the first time I had ever considered what my life was... and what it might be like for those I love if I were no longer around.  I wept for myself more than anyone else... I wept for the missing of all the firsts and milestones of my kids ... the first ride on a bike without training wheels, the first loves, the first kiss, the graduations, weddings, first grand babies...  and for Chris and I... more children, our 10th, 25th and 50th wedding anniversaries, a home alone again...  It was an overwhelming sense of loss... and I hadn't even had my appointment!  But, the conclusion I came to that night was that in all these things, I am merely a visitor... God has great things planned, whether I am around to see them here on earth or in heaven.  Knowing that my Maker and my Abba Father has all things under his control gave me a sense of peace, not only about my current situation, but with regards to all of life, my own and that of those I love.  In the release of all of these fears I was able to find joy... Joy in the now and in every moment I have been given...  That is a real freedom that is priceless.

The next morning, I woke up, got dressed, took Bo and my Mom with me and went to my appointment.  After my scans and some time alone on a table in a cold room I got the results that I knew God had control over.... all clear... all normal... nothing to be concerned about.  What a blessing!  I truly went from scared of the unknown to joyful resting in God's hands in 2 minutes flat!  

FALLing into the Newness of Spirit... and loving it!

Man, thinking about all that has happened since I last updated in July is overwhelming.  The last you all knew, we were praying for a job for Chris, welcoming a new baby nephew, and just "getting by" on faith that all things would work out for the good and the glory of God.

Well, Chris did indeed interview for a job at Columbia Crossroads and ended up being blessed with a position at a satelite branch called Columbia Crossroads Northeast.  We were not initially interested in this site as we had just left our old church which is funnily enough located right across the street!  But, God had better plans in mind for us and as we visited with the pastor and the launch team, we were overwhelmed at how this was the perfect place for us.  We have been meeting as an official church for 3 weeks now and are very encouraged by the "home" it is becoming and the people we are being challenged to be through the ministries there.  Chris is learning new things daily about his own gifts in the ministry as well as taking on many new responsibilities.  I am enjoying a wonderful women's Bible study, making many new friends (who are a lot like us with many kiddos!), and also helping out in the children's ministries.  The kids are meeting new friends and finding a new home there as well.  We couldn't be happier!  Praise God!

Just before starting at CCNE we made our yearly trek to Black Mountain in North Carolina for a wonderful week of camping in the mountains with Chris' family.  We had another excellent week and I must say that it was great to be there not pregnant or with a very new baby... this is the first time in 4(!) years that this has been the case!!! Crazy! 

Chris started his many (5) jobs as Fall began.  He is teaching guitar lessons to private homeschool students, at Heathwood Hall Episcopal School, at Carolina Music Academy, and at Columbia International University.  He is also teaching a Music History class at CIU and beginning to enjoy that... it has been a lot of work.  It has been a blessing as it is also acting to prepare him for his oral exam he must take to "officially" receive his Master's degree.  With all this he is also, as mentioned above, the Music Ministry Director at CCNE.  Yeah, he is a busy man!

I am also feeling a new busyness this Fall as well as I am taking on a new "at-home" position.  I have recently re-launched my business with Arbonne International, a health and wellness company.  I decided to take on this venture again after seeing my sister succeed in her own Arbonne business and receive her company car!  It is taking me some time to reorder my life around building my business after caring for my family each day.  But, It is nice to work only when I want to and see such good results from hard work.

The kids have enjoyed the newness of Fall weather and time outside.  The boys continue to grow into little men and I am continually amazed at how big they are getting.  Jed will be 4 in December! Peter turned 2 in July and baby Bo is almost 1!!!!  Bo is our nickname for Isabel, thanks to Peter as he tried and tried to say it and ended up with Isabo and then just bo.  We think it is cute! She is turning 1 on October 22 and is so close to walking!

Our latest house "project" was to upgrade our gross office!  For 4 years Chris has worked out of an unorganized, unpainted, ugly office.  My dad built us custom shelving and we painted the office a nice green.  We absolutely love it!

The Birth of Wesley Michael Essig

I had the privilege of being able to be with my sister in law, Leigh, during her labor of her third son, Wesley Michael Essig, born on July 9, 2008. I was in and out as she labored for a little over 18 hours... This video documents the work before and the lovin' after the delivery. It was such a blessing to be a part of... and so much easier than being the laborer this time around! We are so glad to welcome this sweet little man into the family!

4th of July Bang and the Bang to come...

This past 4th of July marked not only the celebration of our independence as a nation, but the 2nd year of life of our sweet 'lil P-dog! We had a great time with him as he was understanding a little bit more of what this day is. He absolutely loved his homemade ice cream cake the best!

Now we await the "Bang" of a new Essig entering the world as Leigh, my sis-n-law, will be induced tomorrow morning. I hope to be with her throughout the process and will update when all is done... keep her in your prayers!!!

Sleepy Blessings...

Have you ever had such a lucid dream that you thought it was really happening? That happens to me sometimes, but last night was one of only two times that I have really experienced a dream-like encounter with God. I know it sounds weird, and I cannot even really explain it enough to give it justice, but I really felt God's presence in my sleep last night. Let me put into context why this might have happened...

As many of you know, Chris and I are leaving our current church and seeking a new church home. Chris is also leaving behind a music ministry that he really felt invested in and searching for a new position. We have interviewed twice, gotten really excited twice, and had our hopes dashed twice... Very recently Chris has applied for two more positions, one here in Columbia and one near Greenville, and that has occupied our thoughts. We have all but exhausted all possible options, but one day last week Chris decided to contact a Pastor here who used to be his youth group leader years ago (and who pastors a church we would not mind attending!) and see if he knew of anything opening up around town. Let me just tell you that for Chris to step out like this, without really thinking through it for a bit first, was a huge thing... anyway, turns out the pastor is on sabatical, but he was able to get in touch with the current Worship Leader. This guy sent Chris a response that blew us out of the water... He told Chris that he is leaving his job soon and the church will be looking for someone to replace him... This is VERY good news for us. So, Chris sends his resume on over the guys in charge and gets almost an immediate response from them as well. They wanted to meet with Chris! They had a phone interview that was very positive and set up to meet this Wednesday!!! Now, we are excited, but also very much aware of the possibility of disappointment looming in the air. We are constantly thinking about Wednesday and trying not to get our hopes up. Now, back to my dream...

In my dream I remember feeling very peaceful and there being a lot of light... don't remember much else in terms of details, but really just how it felt warm and intense, but peaceful. I remember it seemed as though God was annointing Chris or blessing him and telling me that all was under His wing and not to worry. I remember feeling so at ease, but also such an intensity like when you just don't want to blink cause you might miss something. Then God told me that I had some things that I needed to work on in my life. I needed to spend more time in the Word and in prayer and generally lining up my priorities... lining them up to God. I needed to be more present in God's working and not so present in my own. It was so very real. Like I said, I have only experienced this once before and don't remember a lot about it, just that I was certain it was God speaking to me. I hope that He continues to speak to me this way in the future, but for now you better be sure I am getting back to basics!

Right now I would ask that you would keep us in your prayers. God is at work, I know this, and despite the outcome of the interview I am convinced we are safe in his arms. Pray that God would bring His favor upon Chris and that we would allow Him to lead in all areas of our lives. Pray that He would give Chris the confidence he needs to do the Lord's will and know his place in God's work here. Pray that I would be a good wife and mother as I wait on what He is doing in and through us. Pray that our children would see Christ in our actions and responses to God's plan for us. Lastly, pray that we would be obedient to His call, wherever that may lead...

Shoe Box Memories

The other night Chris and I started looking through an old box of letters that I had written to him that first summer of dating at camp and during the year I was away in Hollywood. Man, was I sappy and overwhelming!!! I am not kidding, I was sooooo very intense in the lovey dovey language I used. Reading them now, I wondered to Chris as to how he did not run for the hills when he first received them. We know now that it was God who kept us together when everything else said, "be afraid, be very, very afraid!" Anyway, I also came across an old newsletter I sent out during that time in Hollywood (for those who don't know, I was serving in mission there for a year) and was amazed at my own words. I don't remember being that contemplative and profound, but well, there it is on paper... it reads:


When I was younger, my sister and I used to take walks around the woods at the camp. She used to tell me not to look down at the ground, but up at the beauty around us. Have you ever found yourself missing the beauty of God’s creation because you were looking at the path so you wouldn’t stumble? My perspective was on what I could control. I totally missed what I was there to see in the first place. There was need for a change of perspective. This has been my experience over my year here in Hollywood. Recently, I have found that it is not about what I am looking for when there are more important things to be seen. My perspective has been on how I can control my life; past, present, and future. How can I watch the path so I don’t trip and fall and hurt myself? Jesus spoke to the disciples of a time, after he would be gone, when things would be very difficult for them and that they would need to look up. God didn’t let darkness win in the death of his son, but he overcame the darkness. That is not to say that there wasn’t great sadness at the death of the King, but that the outcome was a glorious one. There was a time when the people of Israel were wandering in the desert, that they found themselves plagued by deadly snakes. Their only hope to be healed was a glimpse upwards at a bronze serpent that the Lord told Moses to make. The pain of the bite was there, but there was an escape, a healing. That is something I have been realizing lately. The pain we feel in the process of healing is what we have to endure. I once heard it said that to look up means to access the reservoir of God’s grace. Not down at our own struggles, broken dreams, lost hopes. God is in control…so let him be. That is the lesson I am learning right now. “A glorious throne, exalted from the beginning, is the place of our sanctuary. O Lord, the hope of Israel…”(Jeremiah 17:12-13a). The throne reminds us that God is still in control. From the beginning, he has known. “Man’s true sanctuary is where a man knows God.” To be in a place set apart from this world where looking up isn’t scary is where I can say “O Lord, the hope of my life…” That is the place where I can relate to the story of Elijah. More than once I have referred to this year of mission as my “desert experience”. I have felt as though I, like Elijah, was looking for God in the earthquakes, windstorms and fires of my life over the past few years. And, like Elijah, God has revealed himself in a gentle whisper. I have found myself in the past running from the things that I was afraid of and, feeling alone, depressed and abandoned, I hid myself. Unfortunately, I often hid in the crowds of this world and not in the shadow of the Rock. I tried to fix things on my own and paid for it with isolation and loneliness. I find comfort in Psalm 91. “He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, ‘He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.’…You will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day…If you make the Most High your dwelling—even the Lord, who is my refuge—then no harm will befall you, no disaster will come near your tent. For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways; they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone…’Because he loves me,’ says the Lord, ‘I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name. He will call upon me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him. With long life will I satisfy him and show him my salvation.’” Hebrews 12 tells us to, “fix our eyes on Jesus”. That is what I am trying daily to remember. To look up…



Looks like I have already learned what to do in the "desert" that I find myself in again... Look up... look to the One who can change my perspective and my attitude and my situations. I was 23 then and 7 years later I am still learning the lessons of fixing my eyes on Jesus. Things continue to be hard here as Chris and I seek and discern our path and future. Recently Chris found out that he has to wait until January to take his oral exam (the final piece in the Master's degree puzzle) as his professor is on sabbatical till then. This has messed up his teaching job a USC Aiken for the Fall and has him pretty down. We are also still trying to figure out our income as of August when we will be finished serving at New Kirk. We know that God has our lives and our futures in his hands and he is sovereign and merciful every moment, but I find myself curious and anxious as I wait. I just want to know where we are headed and he is asking me to blindly abide... abide... abide... abide... The definition of abide is: to wait patiently for, to withstand, to remain in a place, to endure, to dwell, to last or exist for a long time, to wait. If you know me well at all, you know that to wait has always been hard for me. I know that God has always worked the most strongly in my life when he is asking me to do the hardest things. My time in Hollywood was one of those times of "hard." I hated waiting for it to be over, but in the midst of my complaining like the Israelites, God spoke to me in a whisper telling me that I was in that place for a reason and those people needed me... the me that God was working through, not the one who wanted to leave. I can use those lessons learned so long ago as I yet again endure a "desert" hot and tired, hungry and thirsty, though through it all cared for by my Maker, my Master and my Friend... Who asks me to listen and grow... to keep listening, listening for that still, small voice that tells me I am beloved and taken care of... the voice that asks me to trust and obey... the voice that asks for me to patiently abide in Him... I will be listening closely to the gentle whisper of my Abba Father revealing himself anew to me...

Which way do we go?

Well, I really stink at this thing, don't I? I am determined to keep up with the life and times of our family on this blogspot, I really am!!!!


This has been a hard year... Well, I am not just speaking about 2008, but really since Isabel was born in October. As most of you know, she had some trouble at birth with breathing on her own and a bacterial infection which kept her in the Special Care nursery at Lexington Med. Center for 2 weeks. That was a hard time not knowing what was happening and such (though now we know she was really going to be just fine and has no long term issues!). Right after that was Christmas and the whirlwind that is traveling and spending time with family (as much as we love it, it is tiring). We made some hard decisions in early January about our future and Chris' work. Plus, Chris has been working so diligently and hard to finish up his Master's Degree. We enjoyed some vacationing in May, but were hit almost the moment we got home with the first of our many blows... not to go into a lot of detail, but we were disappointed with life on many levels during the month of May. Job turn downs, not being able to complete Graduate school just yet, another job turn down, and the prospects not looking so good. All in all, we feel the hand of God even ever so slightly holding us up in the midst of our storm. He just asks for our faith to keep our eyes on Him.


May did bring with it a joyous occasion... Sarah, Chris' little sister got married to a wonderful, godly man, Dan Hagensen! We enjoyed a few crazy fun filled days in PA for the event and were blessed to be a part of that day!



Well, I guess I will sign off for now, but would ask that you keep us in your prayers as we sort out our different situations in life... We truly value your thoughts for us!